Choppy Sentences
Riya wrote fast. Deadline at six. She typed clear facts. Each line was a sentence. The piece looked neat. Her manager read it. He frowned. “Good data,” he said, “but the writing jumps. I cannot feel the flow.”
Do you feel slightly irritated reading that? A little breathless? Maybe even bored?
You know why?
Because those sentences are choppy, each thought is isolated, without rhythm or connection. The meaning is clear, but the reading experience feels mechanical.
Let us see what choppy sentences are and how to fix them.
What are choppy sentences?
Choppy sentences are a series of short, simple sentences that stop too often. Each is grammatically correct, but together they make the text sound abrupt and immature. Good writing connects ideas so that the reader moves smoothly from one to the next.
What “choppy” looks like
Incorrect: The study began in 2022. The sample size was 500. The survey ended in March. The response rate was 78%.
Correct: The study, which began in 2022 with a sample of 500 participants, ended in March with a 78% response rate.
Incorrect: Sales improved. Revenue grew. Profit did not.
Correct: Sales and revenue improved, but profit did not.
Incorrect: The patient felt better. The pain reduced. The swelling remained. Correct: The patient felt better and reported reduced pain, although swelling remained.
Why it happens
Writing as you think — drafting ideas one per line.
Example: We met the client. We discussed the scope. We planned timelines.
Fix: We met the client to discuss the scope and plan timelines.
Copying bullet points into prose — lists without connectors.
Example: The project includes marketing. It includes training. It includes feedback.
Fix: The project includes marketing, training, and feedback.
Overcorrecting the “short sentences are good” rule.
Example: The paper was revised. It was resubmitted. It was accepted.
Fix: The paper was revised, resubmitted, and later accepted.
Repetitive openings — “We…” or “The company…” again and again.
Example: We designed the study. We collected data. We analysed the results.
Fix: After designing the study, we collected data and analysed the results.
How to fix choppy prose
1. Combine related ideas with coordination
Use and, but, so, yet, or to join equal thoughts.
Example (academic): The drug reduced pain, but it did not affect inflammation.
Example (business): Marketing spend rose, and brand awareness followed.
2. Show relationships with subordination
Use because, although, while, since to indicate cause or contrast.
Example (research): Although the sample was small, the correlation was significant.
Example (management): Because the budget was limited, the rollout began in phases.
3. Use relative clauses to add detail
Words like which, that, or who help connect related ideas.
Example (scientific): We used a method that minimised solvent waste.
Example (business): The campaign, which targeted young professionals, doubled engagement.
4. Merge repetitive structures
Compress repeated patterns into parallel phrases.
Example (medical): The procedure involves preparing samples, calibrating instruments, and analysing results.
Example (marketing): The strategy covers product, pricing, promotion, and placement.
5. Add transitions for coherence
Use connectors like however, therefore, meanwhile, by contrast, or for example.
Example (academic): The treatment group improved significantly; by contrast, the placebo group did not.
Example (management): The campaign increased reach; however, conversion remained steady.
6. Vary sentence openings and rhythm
Alternate between short, medium, and long sentences to create a natural flow.
Example (policy): Public hospitals improved quality scores. In rural regions, however, progress was slower. Overall, the national index showed steady gains.
Quick checklist
Are there several short sentences expressing one idea? Combine them.
Are logical relations (cause, contrast, time, result) shown? Add connectors.
Do many sentences start the same way? Change the openings.
Are lists broken into fragments? Make them parallel phrases.
Does the text sound monotonous when read aloud? Adjust the rhythm.
Style tips that smooth the rhythm
Vary sentence length: short (under 10 words), medium (15–20), long (25–30).
Keep one main clause per sentence and attach related ideas as phrases.
Read once for accuracy, again for sound—your ear catches monotony.
Use transitions to guide the reader between ideas.
Replace repeated nouns with pronouns where clarity allows.
When short is better (keep them on purpose)
Short sentences are useful for emphasis, instructions, captions, or conclusions:
Handle samples carefully.
The results were clear.
Do not exceed the prescribed dose.
They work best when surrounded by longer, smoother sentences.
Note
Short sentences are fine; choppy writing is not.
Short sentences are useful for emphasis, steps, warnings, captions, and headlines. Use them on purpose, not by default.
Link related ideas with the right connectors, vary your sentence openings and lengths, and let one clear main clause lead each sentence.